Speechless - sprachlos

Von Hannah Harrington

Einen Monat lang schweigen. Einfach mal nicht reagieren, nicht reden. Könntest du das?

Neuigkeiten verbreiten, über andere reden - Gossip-Girl Chelsea liebt es. Als sie auf einer Party Zeugin einer intimen Situation wird, erzählt sie natürlich allen davon. Mit schrecklichen Folgen: Ihr Klassenkamerad Noah wird so zusammengeschlagen, dass er im Koma landet; die Polizei ermittelt; Chelsea wird von allen gemieden. Um ihren Fehler nicht zu wiederholen, legt sie ein Schweigegelübde ab, genau wie der buddhistische Mönch, über den sie gelesen hat. Einen Monat will sie schweigen, in der Schule und zu Hause. Manche hassen sie dafür - aber plötzlich öffnen sich in ihrer stillen Welt Türen: zu einem wunderbaren Jungen, zu Menschen, die ihr verzeihen könnten. Vorausgesetzt, sie kann sich selbst verzeihen.

• Sprache: Deutsch
• Herausgeber: MIRA Taschenbuch
• Erscheinungsdatum: 11. Nov. 2013
• ISBN: 9783862789030

Hannah Harrington

<p>Hannah Harrington stammt aus Michigan, wo sie mit einem Hund und zu vielen Katzen wohnt. Wenn die junge Autorin nicht gerade schreibt, geht sie gern reiten, diskutiert über Politik, schaut sich Dokumentarfilme an und spielt – ziemlich schlecht – Gitarre. Mehr über Hannah Harrington unter hannahharrington.blogspot.com, facebook.com/hannahharrington und unter Twitter @hharrington.</p>

Buchvorschau

Für Paula

Wie der National Geographic unabsichtlich mein Leben verändert

Geheimnisse für mich zu behalten, ist nicht mein Spezialgebiet. War es noch nie. Spätestens seit der Vorschule, als ich herausfand, dass Becky Swanson in Tommy Barnes verknallt war. Innerhalb von fünfzehn Minuten habe ich es damals geschafft, die Info an die ganze Klasse durchsickern zu lassen – einschließlich Tommy. Im Rückblick eine ziemlich beeindruckende Leistung, vermutlich bis heute immer noch meine Bestzeit. Das war vor zehn Jahren.

Mein jetziges Geheimnis ist so dermaßen viel aufregender als damals, dass ich beinah platze.

„Hörst du endlich auf, mich auf die Folter zu spannen?, fragt Kristen. Wir sind in ihrem Zimmer. Ich helfe ihr gerade dabei, ihr Outfit für heute Abend auszusuchen. Ein langwieriger Prozess, wenn man einen so riesigen Kleiderschrank hat wie sie. „Das nervt. Sag’s mir einfach.

Kristen ist kein geduldiger Mensch, und anscheinend habe ich den Bogen überspannt. Seit zwanzig Minuten spiele ich auf meine Neuigkeiten an, ohne dabei etwas preiszugeben. Natürlich werde ich es ihr sagen. Sie ist meine beste Freundin, und ich kann es nicht für mich behalten, ohne dass sie richtig sauer wird. Und eine übellaunige Kristen ist kein Spaß. Trotzdem – bei ihr habe ich so selten die Oberhand, dass ich sie einfach noch ein bisschen hinhalten muss.

„Ich weiß nicht, meine ich unschuldig. „Ich bin nicht so sicher, ob du damit umgehen kannst …

Sie dreht sich vom Wandschrank um, den sie eben noch durchwühlt hat, und bewirft mich mit einer schwarzen Ledersandale. Lachend halte ich die Hände vors Gesicht, während der Schuh gegen meinen Arm prallt und auf die Matratze fällt. Kristen stemmt eine Hand in ihre schlanke Hüfte und legt den Kopf schief, ihr glänzendes, schulterlanges blondes Haar schwingt bei der Bewegung mit.

„Du bauschst das viel zu sehr auf, beschwert sie sich. Sie zerrt ein glitzerndes rotes Top aus dem Schrank, bevor sie sich wieder mir zuwendet. „Was auch immer es ist, ich wette, es ist total lahm.

„Tja, wenn das so ist, behalte ich es eben für mich. Als sie mich wütend anfunkelt, lächele ich nur und rate ihr: „Zieh das nicht an! So wie das geschnitten ist, sieht es aus wie etwas aus der Umstandsmodenabteilung.

Also hängt sie das Top zurück. Dann kommt sie zum Bett und lässt sich bäuchlings neben mich fallen. „Spuck’s aus, jammert sie. Ihre vorherige Kälte verwandelt sich beinahe in Verzweiflung. Mehr Kriecherei geht bei ihr nicht. „Sonst lade ich dich für die Party aus.

Die Drohung kann sie nicht ernst meinen. Kristen weiß, dass ich mich seit über einem Monat auf ihre Silvesterparty freue. Sie hat sogar geholfen, die Lügengeschichte für meine Mutter zusammenzuspinnen, damit ich dabei sein kann. Und zwar trotz des Hausarrests, den meine Eltern mir aufgebrummt haben, nachdem sie mein letztes Zeugnis gesehen haben. Als bräuchte ich jemals im Leben Geometrie.

Obwohl Kristen manchmal … empfindlich sein kann, würde sie mir so etwas nie antun und mich niemals von der Party ausladen. Trotzdem beschließe ich, lieber nachzugeben, statt sie länger auf die Probe zu stellen.

„Okay, okay, lenke ich ein. „Ich erzähl’s dir.

Sie grinst mich breit an und rutscht näher heran. Ich genieße es, wenn ich wie jetzt ihre volle Aufmerksamkeit bekomme. Kristen ist schnell gelangweilt. Sobald sie sich wirklich mal auf mich konzentriert, fühle ich mich, als würde ich etwas richtig machen. Schließlich ist sie eine der beliebtesten Schülerinnen im zehnten Jahrgang, wenn nicht die beliebteste überhaupt. Falls man sich für diesen Kram interessiert, und das tue ich. Sie ist es gewohnt, dass alle um sie herumscharwenzeln, um es auf ihre Seite zu schaffen. Seit fast zwei Jahren stehe ich jedenfalls schon in ihrer Gunst, und das soll auch so bleiben.

Also sollte ich das hier besser nicht vermasseln.

„Ich war doch heute mit Megan unterwegs, weil sie meine Beratung beim Schuhkauf gebraucht hat, fange ich an. „Außerdem wollte sie mit mir über Owen lästern, weil er sie letztes Wochenende fies versetzt hat. Die beiden streiten sich ständig, und sie überlegt, ob sie mit ihm Schluss machen soll.

Kristen zieht die Mundwinkel herunter. „Aaach, gähn. Weiß ich schon."

„Ich bin noch nicht fertig, versichere ich ihr. „Jedenfalls hat Megan ihre Freundin Tessa Schauer mitgebracht, die … Egal. Sie nervt, aber ich komme mit ihr klar. Wir shoppen eine Weile, und alles ist gut. Plötzlich fällt mir ein, dass ich Mom wegen der Sachen in der Wäscherei anrufen muss. Nur blöderweise habe ich mein Handy nicht aufgeladen, und der Akku ist leer. Ich frage Tessa also, ob ich ihr Telefon benutzen kann, sie gibt es mir und geht weg. Nachdem ich Mom angerufen habe, will ich es ihr schon zurückgeben. Aber dann beschließe ich, vorher ihre Fotos durchzugucken, weil ich doch so neugierig bin, und … Um die Spannung zu steigern, lege ich eine Kunstpause ein.

„Und …?", drängelt Kristen. Sie hängt mir förmlich an den Lippen.

„Und, fahre ich fort, „auf dem ersten Bild entdecke ich Tessa. Mit Owen. Sie scheinen sehr … sagen wir … innig zu sein.

Ihre Augen werden groß. „Wie innig?", fragt sie.

Ich grabe mein Handy aus der Tasche und werfe es ihr zu. „Schau selbst."

Belustigt beobachte ich, wie sie an meinem Telefon herumfummelt und sich durch die Nachrichten scrollt. „Ohne Scheiß, sie schnappt nach Luft, „du hast dir die Bilder geschickt?

„Was denn sonst?"

„Merkt Tessa das nicht?"

Ehrlich gesagt ist diese Frage fast eine Beleidigung. Natürlich habe ich vorausgedacht, ich bin doch keine Anfängerin. „Ich habe die gesendeten Nachrichten gelöscht, erkläre ich. „Sie hat keinen Schimmer.

„Das ist … Kristen schweigt, dann grinst sie mich an. „Das ist absolut genial.

Ich nehme ihr das Handy wieder ab und betrachte das Display. Von einem hohen Winkel aufgenommen, blickt mir Tessas und Owens Selbstporträt entgegen. So schäbig. Nicht nur das Bild an sich. Oder dass Owens Mund so weit geöffnet ist, dass ich sogar seine Zunge in Tessas Mund sehen kann (bäh, bäh, bäh!). Aber hinter dem Rücken der angeblich besten Freundin mit deren Lover rummachen? Das ist einfach nur niveaulos. Nicht in tausend Jahren würde ich etwas mit Kristens Freund Warren Snyder anfangen, solange sie mit ihm zusammen ist. Okay, ich würde sowieso nie etwas mit ihm anfangen, fertig. Und zwar, weil er ein Ekelpaket ist, aber das ist ein anderes Thema. Der Punkt ist: Einige Dinge sind heilig.

„Was für eine Scheißfreundin, sage ich zu Kristen. „Nicht zu fassen, dass sie Megan das antut. Keine Chance, dass Megan ihr verzeiht, wenn sie es jemals herausfinden sollte. Seit über einem Jahr ist sie mit Owen zusammen, und mit Tessa ist sie wesentlich länger befreundet. Eine ganze Freundschaft in Scherben, nur weil Tessa nicht die Finger von Owen lassen kann. Das ist kein Junge wert. Nicht einmal Brendon Ryan, für den ich eine Menge unmoralische und verrückte Sachen tun würde und der wahrscheinlich die Liebe meines Lebens ist, auch wenn er es noch nicht weiß. Seit unserem ersten Highschool-Jahr haben wir eine wilde, leidenschaftliche, vollkommen einseitige Affäre.

„Tessa Schauer ist eine gemeine Schlampe. Hoffentlich versetzt Megan ihr dafür einen Tritt in den Hintern, meint Kristen. „Wann sagst du es ihr?

„Wahrscheinlich heute Abend." Megan und Tessa wollen beide zur Party kommen. Also werde ich eine Gelegenheit abpassen, Megan allein zu erwischen und ihr die Nachricht zu überbringen. Trotz meiner verwischten Spuren wird Tessa klar sein, dass ich dahinterstecke. Aber egal. Wen kümmert’s? Mit dem Freund der besten Freundin rumzumachen ist viel schlimmer, als die Handys anderer Leute auszuspionieren. Niemand wird Mitleid mit ihr haben.

Kristen steht vom Bett auf, stellt sich vor den Ganzkörperspiegel und dreht die Spitzen ihrer perfekten Haare. „Du könntest auch ein bisschen Spaß dabei haben", überlegt sie laut.

„Wie denn?" Ich setze mich auf.

„Wenn du Tessa erzählst, was du über sie und Owen herausgefunden hast, würde sie bestimmt so ziemlich alles tun, damit du Megan nichts weitersagst."

„Du meinst, ich soll sie erpressen?, frage ich stirnrunzelnd. „Ich weiß nicht …

„Ich will damit nur sagen", fährt Kristen fort, „es ist eine Tatsache, dass sie einen gefälschten Ausweis besitzt. Letzte Woche hat sie förmlich um Aufmerksamkeit gebettelt und ihn im Unterricht jedem gezeigt, der ihn sehen wollte. Vielleicht kannst du sie davon überzeugen, dass wir auch zwei davon gebrauchen können."

Interessante Idee. Nur …

„Was sollen wir denn mit gefälschten Ausweisen?", frage ich. Natürlich ist Alkohol kaufen die naheliegende Antwort. Aber während Kristen mit dem richtigen Push-up-BH und hochhackigen Schuhen als Einundzwanzigjährige durchgehen könnte, würde das bei mir nie klappen. Ich bin noch nicht so weit … entwickelt wie sie.

„Naja, ich könnte zum Beispiel mit Warren ins Rave gehen, sagt sie. „Um reinzukommen, muss man nur achtzehn sein.

Das Rave ist ein Club in Westfield, der nächsten Stadt. Letzten Monat ist Warren achtzehn geworden und hat dort gefeiert, zwei Wochen später hat er immer noch davon geredet. Zugegeben, ich wüsste gern, worum dieser ganze Wirbel gemacht wird.

Und wenn es Kristen wichtig ist, ist es mir auch wichtig.

„Ich werde sehen, was ich tun kann", verspreche ich ihr. Aus der Art, wie sie mich anlächelt, schließe ich: Genau das wollte sie hören.

Sechs Stunden später

Ich habe keine Ahnung, wie ich mich da wieder herausreden soll.

Mein Handy klingelt hartnäckig, als wüsste es, dass ich es am liebsten ignorieren würde. Ein Blick auf das Display bestätigt meinen nahenden Untergang. Wie um mich zu verhöhnen, blinken die Buchstaben MOM auf. Mist.

Kristen boxt mir ihren Ellbogen in die Rippen. „Wer zum Teufel ruft dich an?, will sie wissen. „Alle wichtigen Leute sind schon hier.

Es stimmt, die Party ist in vollem Gange. Die Hälfte aller Schüler der Grand Lake High drängt sich in dem Raum – jedenfalls die wichtige Hälfte. Laute Musik dröhnt aus den Boxen. Dass Kristen Courteau die besten Partys schmeißt, ist kein Geheimnis. Sturmfreie Bude und ein Bruder, der kein Problem darin sieht, Minderjährige mit Alkohol zu versorgen, dazu ein großes Haus mit einer erstklassigen Musikanlage, mehr kann ein Haufen feierwilliger Sechzehnjähriger kaum wollen.

Ich sitze auf dem Sofa, eingequetscht wie eine Sardine zwischen Kristen und Brendon Ryan. Brendon Ryan ist der letzte Mensch auf der Welt, der wissen darf, dass meine Mutter mir hinterhertelefoniert.

„Das ist meine Mutter, erkläre ich Kristen. Um mich über den Lärm hinweg verständlich zu machen, lehne mich so dicht wie möglich zu ihr hinüber. Hoffentlich ist Brendon mit seinem Bier beschäftigt und bekommt nichts mit. „Wenn ich nicht rangehe, wird sie stinksauer.

„Dann geh ran", sagt Kristen, als wäre das so einfach.

„Damit sie das hier hört? Ich schüttele den Kopf. „Sie würde mich umbringen!

„Gut, dann geh eben nicht ran. Kristen verdreht die Augen und kippt den Rest ihres Drinks herunter. Irgendwie schafft sie es, sogar dabei gut auszusehen. „Ich hol noch ein Bier, informiert sie mich. Damit schält sie sich aus der Couch, tanzt durchs Zimmer in Richtung Kühlschrank und lässt mich allein mit meinem Problem sitzen. Manchmal kann sie so ein Miststück sein. Wäre sie nicht meine beste Freundin, ich würde sie vermutlich hassen.

Neben mir legt Brendon seine Hand auf meine Schulter und beugt sich zu mir. Normalerweise wäre ich begeistert, a) weil Brendon Ryan mich anfasst, b) weil er mir so nah ist, dass ich ihn riechen kann und c) WEIL BRENDON RYAN MICH ANFASST OH MEIN GOTT (!!!). Aber wegen meiner Panik kann ich den Moment kaum genießen. Außerdem stinkt er heute nach Bier und süßlichem Aftershave, was mich enttäuscht, denn ich hatte angenommen, ein perfektes Wesen wie Brendon Ryan würde nach Frühlingsregen, Bergluft und anderen himmlischen Dingen duften.

„Hey, sagt er. Sein warmer Atem streift mein Ohr. Oh ja, das reicht, um meinen sowieso schon rasenden Puls auf Schallgeschwindigkeit hochzujagen. „Im Flur ist es bestimmt leiser.

Es ist ein wirklich simpler Vorschlag, aber in diesem Augenblick kommt Brendon mir vor wie ein amtlich beglaubigtes Genie. Vielleicht liegt es daran, dass ich keinen klaren Gedanken fassen kann, sobald ich auf zwei Meter an ihn herankomme. Okay, möglicherweise hilft der Jell-O-Shot auch nicht gerade, den ich vor zehn Minuten weggekippt habe.

„Ja, quetsche ich schließlich heraus, als mir aufgeht, dass ich in den letzten Sekunden nur mit offenem Mund in seine hirnschmelzenden, haselnussbraunen Augen gestarrt habe. Wie die liebeskranke Vollidiotin, die ich ja auch bin. „Gute Idee.

Ich stemme mich aus dem Sofa, stolpere an einer Gruppe halb nackter Neuntklässlerinnen vorbei, die sich zu irgendeinem nervigen Elektro-Remix verrenken. Ich laufe weiter bis zum Ende des Flurs. Natürlich sind die Vibrationen von den wummernden Bässen aus der Hi-Fi-Anlage bis hierher zu spüren. Mein Handy hat vor einer Weile aufgehört zu klingeln. Großartig. Jetzt muss ich mir auch noch eine Ausrede einfallen lassen, warum ich nicht gleich ans Telefon gegangen bin. Und zwar eine, in der nicht vorkommt, dass ich mit einem Haufen betrunkener Minderjähriger bei einer Silvesterparty bin.

Es ist so bescheuert. Wegen einer einzigen lächerlichen Zensur stellen meine Eltern sich an, als wäre es das Ende der Welt. Eine Vier in Geometrie ruiniert doch nicht mein Leben. Aber sie sehen das natürlich anders. Heute durfte ich Kristen nur deswegen besuchen, weil wir behauptet haben, wir würden auf ihre kleinen Cousins aufpassen. Sollte Mom je herausfinden, was hier wirklich los ist, macht sie mir die Hölle heiß.

Ich öffne den Wandschrank im Flur und verkrieche mich darin. Wenigstens halten die Türen etwas vom Lärm der tobenden Party ab. Wieder klingelt mein Telefon – es ist natürlich Mom. Ich schiebe einen Besen zur Seite, dann nehme ich das Gespräch mit dem unverfänglichsten „Hallo" an, das ich zustande bringe.

„Chelsea, begrüßt sie mich. Allein an der Art, wie sie meinen Namen sagt, kann ich mir ihren verkniffenen Gesichtsausdruck lebhaft vorstellen. „Warum hast du eben nicht abgehoben?

„Ähm … Fieberhaft krame ich in meinem Hirn nach der nächstbesten glaubwürdigen Entschuldigung. „Das Handy war ganz unten in der Tasche, und ich hab’s nicht schnell genug gefunden. Du weißt doch, was für ein Schwarzes Loch meine Handtasche ist.

„Aha", sagt sie. Ich kann nicht einschätzen, ob sie sich skeptisch anhört oder ob ich nur paranoid bin.

Während ich die Schranktür im Auge behalte, hocke ich mich auf die Kante eines Pappkartons. „Was gibt’s denn?"

„Ich wollte dich nur fragen, ob du auf dem Nachhauseweg morgen einen Liter Milch kaufen kannst. Einen Moment schweigt sie. „Wie klappt das Babysitten?, erkundigt sie sich dann.

„Super", antworte ich, und natürlich ist genau in dem Moment im Flur ein krachendes Geräusch zu hören. Ich zucke zusammen und presse eine Hand auf die Stirn. Es könnte kaum besser laufen.

„Was war das?"

Sofort habe ich mich wieder gefangen. „Ach, eins der Kids macht gerade Ärger, sage ich. „Wahrscheinlich hätten wir ihnen nach dem Essen nichts Süßes geben sollen. Überzuckerung. Ich lache und hoffe, es hört sich nicht zu gezwungen an. „Ehrlich gesagt, ich glaube, ich sollte besser Kristen helfen, bevor sie das Haus auseinandernehmen."

„Okay, sagt Mom derart nichtsahnend, dass ich ein schlechtes Gewissen bekomme. Aber nur kurz. Dann bin ich einfach nur erleichtert, weil sie mir die Geschichte abnimmt. „Denk dran, morgen die Milch mitzubringen.

„Richtig. Die Milch. Alles klar. Ich muss dieses Gespräch so schnell wie möglich beenden, bevor irgendetwas mich verrät. „Wir sprechen uns später, ja?

„Gute Nacht, mein Schatz", sagt Mom noch, dann legt sie auf, und ich bin befreit.

Oder fast. Ich winde mich aus dem Wandschrank und schließe die Tür, ziehe meinen Rock glatt und fahre mir mit den Händen durch die Haare. Zwei Stunden habe ich mit dem Glätteisen gekämpft, um sie zu plätten, und jetzt werden sie schon wieder wuschelig und widerlich. Toll. Ich versuche, sie so gut wie möglich zu ordnen, und verfluche zum millionsten Mal meine Gene, die mich nicht mit so glattem, seidigem Haar beglückt haben wie Kristen.

„Chelsea?"

Ich fahre herum und erblicke Tessa, wie sie dasteht und mich mit hochgezogenen, übermäßig gezupften Augenbrauen anglotzt. Normalerweise betrachtet Tessa mich anerkennend, manchmal auch etwas ängstlich. Aber im Augenblick steht ihr nur freundliche Neugier ins Gesicht geschrieben.

Das gefällt mir nicht.

„Was?", schnauze ich sie an, und sie zuckt fast unmerklich zusammen. So ist es besser.

Alle Selbstbräunungscreme der Welt könnte nicht vertuschen, wie sie rot wird. „Ich habe mich nur gewundert, was du in dem Schrank machst", sagt sie.

„Geht dich nichts an." Auf keinen Fall werde ich Tessa wissen lassen, dass ich zu den Losern gehöre, die ihre Eltern für alles um Erlaubnis bitten müssen. Was Tessa betrifft, tue ich, was ich will, wann immer ich will.

„Himmel, du musst mir ja nicht gleich den Kopf abreißen, sagt sie. „War doch nur eine Frage.

„Komisch. Ich habe nämlich auch eine Frage an dich, gebe ich zurück. „Wie fühlt es sich an, der besten Freundin in den Rücken zu fallen?

„Wovon redest du?", schnaubt sie verächtlich, aber ich sehe, wie das Schuldbewusstsein in ihren Augen aufflackert. So aalglatt ist sie nicht.

„Ich weiß von dir und Owen, teile ich ihr mit. Tessa reißt die Augen auf, und ich trete einen Schritt näher. „Hast du wirklich geglaubt, du könntest das geheim halten?

Verstört weicht sie zurück. „Ich weiß nicht, was du meinst, schwindelt sie. „Du bist wohl betrunken.

„Stell dich nicht dumm, kontere ich. „Was Megan wohl sagt, wenn sie es herausfindet? Ihr Freund und ihre beste Freundin. Wenn das kein Messer im Rücken ist.

Endlich lässt sie die unschuldige Fassade fallen, vor Wut spannt sie die Kiefer an. „Sie würde dir nie glauben."

„Fotos lügen nicht", gebe ich zu bedenken.

Ich kann sehen, wie ihr langsam ein Licht aufgeht. „Du hast in meinem Handy herumgeschnüffelt."

„Du solltest mit deinen Geschmacklosigkeiten vorsichtiger umgehen, rate ich ihr grinsend und ziehe mein Telefon aus der Tasche. „Wofür braucht ihr überhaupt die Bilder? Wolltest du die bei Facebook posten und es Megan so herausfinden lassen? Warum spare ich dir nicht die Mühe und leite sie direkt an Megan weiter … Mein Daumen schwebt über den Tasten.

Tessa stürzt sich auf das Handy, aber ich reiße die Hand zurück und halte es außerhalb ihrer Reichweite. Wollte sie sich ernsthaft mit mir darum prügeln? Sie ist wirklich ein niederträchtiges Miststück.

Mittlerweile schlägt ihre Wut in Panik um. „Bitte, sag ihr nichts, fleht sie mich an. „Es war dumm von mir, ich weiß. Aber er hat gemeint, er würde sowieso mit ihr Schluss machen, und es war nur ein paarmal, und … Ihre Stimme kippt. „Bitte, du darfst es ihr nicht sagen …"

„Entspann dich, stutze ich sie zurecht, damit sie bloß mit diesem Geflenne aufhört. Diese Fremdschäm-Nummer macht mich fertig. „Du siehst nur lächerlich aus.

„Ich weiß, dass du mich nicht magst, Chelsea, sagt sie, während sie sich eine einzelne Träne unter ihrem Auge abwischt. „Trotzdem, bitte, tu das nicht. Megan ist meine beste Freundin.

„Vielleicht hättest du dir das überlegen sollen, bevor du ihrem Freund deine Zunge in den Hals gesteckt hast."

Tessa zieht den Kopf ein. „Das kannst du nicht machen, wiederholt sie. „Das kannst du einfach nicht.

„Okay", sage ich.

„‚Okay?’, echot sie. Vorsichtiger Optimismus stiehlt sich in ihre Stimme. „Du erzählst ihr also nichts?

„Nicht, wenn du mir einen Gefallen tust."

Als ich zurück ins Wohnzimmer komme, knutscht Kristen in einer Ecke mit Warren. Ich brauche mich nicht umzusehen, ich weiß auch so, dass mehr als ein Mädchen neidisch zuguckt. Warren ist im vierten Highschooljahr und der Star des Basketball-Teams. Er ist groß, breitschultrig und hat gerade so viel Bart, dass er älter und erwachsener aussieht, als er ist. Und Kristen ist … tja, Kristen eben. Blond, blauäugig, hat Kurven an den richtigen Stellen und ist schlank an allen anderen. Sie ist so hübsch, dass es wehtut. Neben ihr zu stehen ist immer ein Dämpfer fürs Selbstwertgefühl.

Ich werde nie verstehen, warum Kristen mich so nah an sich herangelassen hat, aber das hat sie. Die gesamte Mittelstufe habe ich in ehrfürchtigem Abstand von ihr verbracht. Bis zur achten Klasse, als wir im Bio-Labor nebeneinander gesetzt wurden. Von da an nahm Kristen nicht nur meine Existenz zur Kenntnis. Irgendwie fing sie im Laufe des Jahres an, mich zu sich einzuladen, mich ins Einkaufszentrum mitzunehmen, mir zwischen den Unterrichtsstunden Zettel zu schreiben, mir beim Mittagessen einen Platz freizuhalten. Ehe ich michs versah, waren wir Freundinnen. Nicht nur Freundinnen, sondern beste Freundinnen.

Es hat seine Vorteile, Kristens beste Freundin zu sein. Alle wissen, wie man heißt. Man wird zu allen Partys eingeladen (oder zumindest zu allen, die es wert sind, dass man daran teilnimmt). Man hat eine feste Clique. Und zwar dieselbe Clique, zu der Brendon Ryan gehört, der mühelos mein Seelenverwandter sein könnte. Wenn er mich jemals wahrnehmen würde.

Ich drehe den Kopf – und da steht er, füllt seinen Becher mit Bier auf, und Natalie Thomas klebt förmlich an ihm. Igitt, Natalie kann ich nicht ausstehen. Sie war vor mir Kristens beste Freundin. Zwar würde sie es mir nie ins Gesicht sagen, aber ich weiß, dass sie es mir insgeheim übel nimmt, dass sie es jetzt nicht mehr ist. Sie ist eine derartige Klette. Außerdem flirtet sie zwanghaft mit allen Typen in einem Radius von zehn Kilometern, egal, ob sie in festen Händen sind oder nicht.

Heute hat sie sich in dieses grelle neonfarbene Glitzerkleid geschmissen, das ihr nur bis knapp unter die Hüfte reicht. Wenn man sie direkt anguckt, bekommt man sofort einen unheilbaren Netzhautschaden. So, so billig. Am liebsten würde ich kotzen.

Brendon Ryan ist zu gut für sie. Brendon Ryan hat Stil. Er trägt trendige Poloshirts oder Freizeithemden mit Pullis darüber. Seine dunkelblonden Haare stylt er so perfekt, dass sie absichtlich zerzaust aussehen. Er ist Vorsitzender vom Schülerrat, und im Unterricht meldet er sich immer erst, bevor er spricht. Statt Kaugummis nimmt er lieber Mint-Pastillen, die er in einem kleinen Döschen mit sich herumträgt. Seit meiner ersten Woche an der Highschool, als er sich im Klassenzimmer zu mir umgedreht und mir mit seinem umwerfenden Lächeln ein Pfefferminzbonbon angeboten hat, bin ich in ihn verliebt. Alles an Brendon trieft vor müheloser Coolness, anders als bei den krampfigen Sporttypen, mit denen Kristen und ich uns sonst abgeben.

Wann Natalie glaubt, sie könnte mir Brendon wegschnappen, ist sie auf dem Holzweg.

Ich marschiere schnurstracks auf die beiden zu und quetsche mich zwischen sie. Das ist zwar ein bisschen eng, aber ich tue einfach so, als bräuchte ich extrem dringend mehr Salzstangen.

„Hi", sage ich zu Brendon.

„Hi, antwortet er lächelnd. „Wie war der Anruf?

„Ich hab’s hingekriegt. Dank dir."

Natalie lehnt sich zu mir vor, während ich mir eine Handvoll Salzstangen in den Mund stopfe. „Du frisst dich ganz schön voll, stellt sie fest. „Lass uns auch noch welche übrig.

„Da kann wohl jemand den Hals nicht vollkriegen, murmele ich vor mich hin. Ich mustere ihre verpfuschten blondierten Haare, die so schäbig aussehen wie alles an ihr, und füge lauter hinzu: „Wow, Natalie. Ich wusste gar nicht, dass braune Haaransätze diese Saison in sind. Ist Straßenschick wieder angesagt?

Natalie zieht ein mürrisches Gesicht. „Es überrascht mich, dass du überhaupt eine Meinung hast", kontert sie. „Bist du nicht Kristens kleines Sprachrohr? Genieße es, solange es

Rezensionen für Speechless - sprachlos

[twileteyes · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

When I was ~10% in to this book, I thought for sure I was going to hate it and quit reading it. I didn't care for Chelsea at all, even though some aspects of her behavior I could relate to, her motives and thoughts were loathsome. It was at that point, the ~10% spot, that a major event occurs, and for a few paragraphs I was certain Chelsea was going to be even worse than she already had been, which was why I thought I would stop reading it. But then she wasn't. And I suddenly cared what happened to her and the new characters that were introduced.

Once that little patch of doubt was passed, I completely fell in love with the characters and the plot lines. For the most part, everything about this book was believable. I had a few moments where I thought that Chelsea's vocab was inconsistent with the not-so-bright persona the author created early on in the book; a girl that wikipedia's her English lit assignments and is a C-B student probably isn't throwing around words like "vitriol", etc.

[laurenkathryn · Bewertung: 2 von 5 Sternen]

After reading this, I definitely think that I may have reached the stage where I am too old for some books in the young adult genre; Speechless being one of those said books.

I loved that this was a huge platform for homosexuality, anti-bullying and acceptance but it was aimed at a much younger audience than myself. I think that is why this book didn't get a higher rating - the concept was good but I felt that it was weighed down by all of the teenage angst. A bit cliche but had the makings of your A typical YA novel.

One thing that irked me the most were all the misspelt words - Jackson Pollock is spelt like that, okay? :)

[a.happy.booker · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Speechless Chelsea Knot is the best friend of the most popular girl at school and is known for her ability to ferret out, and expose, the good gossip. When she spills a secret that has violent repercussions, Chelsea makes a decision to do the right thing even if it means losing that all-important popularity. Suddenly, she&#039;s on the outside and getting back all that she&#039;s dished out in the past and then some. An article she reads in the National Geographic inspires her to take a vow of silence since talking without thinking has gotten her into this mess. The beginning of Speechless was very slow and angst filled. The characters were all largely unlikable, a bunch of selfish, shallow teens with entitlement issues. I couldn&#039;t stand Chelsea and didn&#039;t feel particularly sorry for the position she found herself in. I even thought about marking this DNF and moving on to something else. I&#039;m really glad that I didn&#039;t though, because as the story progressed, it slowly became more than it first appeared. The vow of silence she took seemed to be for selfish attention seeking reasons initially, but the unforeseen result of not speaking allows her to really examine the person that she is as well as the people and things she had surrounded herself with. Her silence also caused her to listen more fully to what people where saying and to consider their words instead of simply replying. Through her vow, she learns about friendship, accountability, loyalty, and the power of words. Her character grows very slowly throughout the story as she acknowledges some hard truths about herself and attempts to become worthy of the new friends she&#039;s made and, of course, the boy. There&#039;s always a boy... :) No flowery prose or layers of meaning, the writing was as simple and straightforward as the story itself and felt authentic and perceptive. I enjoyed Speechless much more than I thought I would after reading the first couple chapters and encourage anyone who chooses to read this to push through that initial reaction to these characters because the book does get much much better.

[eomalley_2 · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

Speechless is my first book by Hannah Harrington, but it definitely won’t be my last. After breezing through this story of a girl whose penchant for divulging secrets almost gets someone killed I’ve decided Harrington is on my must-read list. While not without its faults, Speechless is one of my favorite books this year and definitely one I’ll be reading again and again (I’ve already read it twice this month!).

When Chelsea Knot exposes one secret too many, two teenagers end up under arrest while a third is in a hospital fighting for his life. Devastated by what has happened, she takes a vow of silence to avoid any further tragedies, but soon finds herself on the receiving end of a concentrated attack of bullying and harassment from her former friends who blame her for the arrests. When Chelsea is taken under the wing of a new friend, freshman Asha, she begins to question who she really is – and what is worth fighting for.

In all the books I’ve read this year, I think Chelsea is probably the character who experiences the most growth. She questions everything she has done – from revealing the secret to taking the story to the police – and has many moments of doubt and uncertainty. Yet she keeps moving forward, stubborn and determined to prove that she can be a better person than she was in the past. Along the way she finds out the type of person she doesn’t want to be and makes great strides in becoming who she wants to be. I absolutely loved Chelsea’s character development and the opportunities it opened up for her with new friends and a new romance.

All the secondary characters are well-developed and interesting. It intrigued me that it was the friends of the boy who is almost killed who end up taking Chelsea in, supporting her against the bullying in school and recognizing how she is trying to change. Asha, especially, is a great character with her big heart, math smarts, and love of knitting. She is joined in greatness by the owners of Rosie’s Diner, Dex and his girlfriend Lou, who give Chelsea a place to feel safe outside of her home. Even the bullies are developed, including Chelsea’s former best friend Kristen (a gorgeous mean girl) and Derek and Lowell (two basketball players). All three of them do everything they can to make Chelsea miserable, and I was a little nervous about how far they would go.

And then there is Sam – best friends with the boy who has been hospitalized, friend to Asha, and Chelsea’s new art project partner. He listens to NPR, reads actual books (!?!), and knows how to make a mean tuna melt. He is also protective about those he cares about, such as Asha – he emphasizes to Chelsea what a good person she is and how he doesn’t want her hurt if Chelsea isn’t serious about being her friend. I really liked this about him; that he isn't immediately drawn to Chelsea and that their relationship builds gradually as they are thrown together with Asha at Rosie’s Diner and through art class. It was very cute, too, how Chelsea recognized the differences between them and how concerned she was that they didn’t have enough in common to have a long-term relationship.

And now for those faults. The biggest problem I had with Speechless was actually a logistical problem regarding high school. When Chelsea decides to take her vow of silence and shows up with a note for her teachers advising them of the vow, my first thought was, “How is she going to get through a language class?” Chelsea is a sophomore in high school, and every high school I know requires a language class; it’s even mentioned that she switched from French to Spanish at one point so she could take the class with Kristen. Yet, now, she is apparently not studying any languages since it is never mentioned again.

I was also bothered by the fact that she didn’t want to tell her parents the reason behind her silence and get them on board so they could help her navigate the pitfalls of school. Having parental support – or at least attempting to get it – seems like a logical move. Lastly, it really felt like Chelsea and all the teenagers involved should be juniors or seniors instead of sophomores; everyone came across as older than the 15- to 16-year-olds they would be as sophomores. While all of these points nagged at me a little, none of them was enough to throw me out of the story; I was too caught up in the characters and plot to put it down.

Speechless is a fascinating story of a young girl whose inability to keep a secret leads to tragedy and the attempt she makes to turn her life around as a result. Chelsea’s vow of silence uncovers a new path, with supportive friends and a romance with one of the last boys she ever expected. Even with its faults, Hannah Harrington has crafted a story that is engaging, thought-provoking, and addictive with a lead character who shows tremendous growth. Speechless is a keeper.

[sjgirl-1 · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Some readers might understandably be tempted to bow out of this one fairly early on as Chelsea’s words and actions are far from likeable, she’s offensive at times and her lack of thought and concern for others inadvertently sets in motion terrible consequences for someone else.

Even when (still early on) Chelsea does the right thing, and then she decides to take a vow of silence, she’s still self-involved to an extent, not suddenly all altruistic, there’s still a lot of growing left for her to do over the course of the novel which the author navigates pretty successfully, the changes in Chelsea come about at a gradual enough pace to be mostly believable.

I did feel like a couple characters went easier on Chelsea sooner than maybe was realistic and the little bit of romance with one of them didn’t feel necessary, but I was glad for the friendships that developed, I especially loved Asha and wish she had a story all her own.

I thought Chelsea’s parents might have factored in more here, and maybe a counselor (or even the art teacher), too, given that a vow of silence from a student is kind of extreme so you’d expect more attempts at intervention or at least attempts to understand why. More than that though, it seemed like Noah, the person most adversely affected by Chelsea (and even more affected by others), should have played a larger role here. Still, this was an engaging read that could appeal to fans of Sarah Dessen, Harrington captures a similar tone, particularly in the diner scenes.

[roses7184_1 · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

To be honest, the very first thing I noticed about Speechless was the gorgeous cover. I realize you might find that a little odd. There are no faces, no swirls, no fancy typeface to draw in the reader. However it is exactly the lack of all those accoutrements that caught my eye. Simplistic. Beautiful. A blank slate. Then, the synopsis. Thank you whoever wrote this! Thank you so very much for not giving away the entire plot in a few paragraphs. I promise you, vague or not, this synopsis is perfection. Speechless holds much more than you are expecting.

Chelsea Knot is definitely not a perfect person. What she is, is realistic. A girl who is flawed, selfish, and raw. Harrington starts out the book by showing us a Chelsea that is pretty easy to dislike. One who spreads rumors, and hurts people. However as she learns the error of her ways, she grows by leaps and bounds. The Chelsea at the end of Speechless is an entirely different person, and just being there for her journey will make you fall in love. In fact, the entire cast of characters that support Chelsea in her time of need are easy to love. I could go on and on about Asha, Sam, Dex and Lou, but I won't. I'll let you meet them for yourself.

What I loved most about this book is that Chelsea's story is full of hope. It is full of growth, and understanding. Speechless touches on tough topics, and it does it well. Instead of relying on angst to draw the reader in, we get to dive deep in Chelsea's head and learn right along with her. There is a message here, that bridges that gap between all ages that might pick up this book. I think Harrington says it best with: "Hate is... it's too easy," he says. "Love. Love takes courage."

Despite it taking some time for me to feel the writing style of the book, I soon became immersed. In fact, a sigh escaped my lips when I reached the last page. A sigh of contentment at how perfectly this book is paced, and executed. Even the romance in this book is spot on, and builds slowly. Gorgeous. Speechless has just further cemented my opinion that Hannah Harrington is a master of her craft.

[annhepburn · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Comparisons to Laurie Halse Anderson's "Speak" are inevitable, and while there are obvious similarities (i.e. main character who doesn't speak due to trauma, a caustic yet funny first-person narrative) I think this one more than stands on its own.

Chelsea's dilemma is interesting, feeling guilt both for causing a classmate to be beaten up but also feeling guilt for reporting the tormenters to the authorities. She really grows as a character in an interesting way, with the support of interesting and layered supporting characters.

[sapphireddragon · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

So I have mentioned before that I am not usually a big fan of the Young Adult Contemporary Genre but I requested this novel because I found the idea of a high school girl choosing to take a vow of silence, after accidentally revealing one secret too many, intriguing.

I am glad I decided to take the plunge. This book was current and sensitive while leaving you with a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

This book deals indirectly with some heavy topics: homophobia, bullying, but does so in a way that is sensitive and delicate rather than in your face. Part of this because we see these issues the eyes of a teenage girl.

Chelsea is shocked at events that happen as a result of her being unable to keep her mouth shut. This event is enough to make her take a vow of silence so that maybe she will learn to watch what she says.

I liked that the author took Chelsea on a journey of self discovery that felt real and throughout the book you could really see her grow as a person as she learnt more about herself as a person, the other people around her and to start to see how what she says and does contributes to the bigger picture.

I also like that Chelsea is a strong female character, who at first seems quite shallow and weak. However, despite being on the receiving end of verbal abuse and some physical and mental attacks, she is able to stay strong, stick to her guns and stand up for what she believes in. Her strength is shown in how events affect her and how she responds.

The story flows from beginning to end, is believable and best of all leaves you with the warm glow of a satisfying conclusion.

A story with appeal for everyone, not just teenagers.

[liindasnow97 · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

This book has so much truth inside it's pages...
Speechless gives a powerful message while being a good book, a thing not all authors can do. Some authors then to exaggerate things in order to make their books 'better' while others try to make the problems seem lighter than they are, but Harrington does none.
The book hooked me up pretty well and, even though I have to say I hated Chelsea at the beginning, I have to say I understand Harrington made her shallow in order for us to see the transformation she has through the book.
At the ending, we can see a Chelsea that's not perfect, but has learned of her errors and has decided to love instead of hate because "Hate is too easy, but love takes courage".

[destinyisntfree · Bewertung: 2 von 5 Sternen]

So, I am going to go with a slightly different format with this review, and depending on how it works out and the response of my readers, I may use it again in the future. We will have to see how it goes. First, I am going to give my overall general thoughts on the book. Then, I will answer a couple of the discussion questions from the back of the book.

I really, really struggled with this review. First off, I just realized that I have been getting the main character's name all mixed up with the main character of another book I recently finished. And no one corrected me on Twitter!!!

I really, really wanted to love this book. I requested it for review because so many people raved about it. But the truth is, I really, really struggled with this one.

Have you guys seen the movie Mean Girls? This was just way worse. The characters, with a few exceptions, are shallow and lifeless and the endearing parts of the book come so close to the end, it was just really hard to connect.

The writing itself was good. The style, the flow, all of that was great. I think maybe it is the subject matter. The concept of what happened to Noah just really bothered me and Chelsea was..just lacking to me.

Some discussion questions. Feel free to chime in on these in the comments!

1. Chelsea Knot starts this story as a gossip whose words wind up hurting others both mentally and physically. What do you think about her vow of silence? Was that an effective way to deal with what happened? How hard might it be to not speak at all for four weeks?

Well, to me, the vow of silence would have been great if the initial motivation might have been for better reasons. If she were evaluating why she did what she did and things like that, it might have been better. But the motivation just seemed shallow to me. I think there could have been better ways to handle things. I highly doubt I could go that long without talking for anything less than miraculous, life altering reasons.

I am going to leave it with that question for now to see how the response is. There are a dozen or so in the back of the book, but the others kind of give too much away and I want people to form their own opinions.
I know that mine is not the popular response to this one, but it is my opinion. I just really could not connect with this one for some reason.

Thanks to the publisher for a review copy.

[crashmyparty · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

A really interesting story about a girl who can't keep a secret, and how this flaw in her yielded disastrous results - and how she redeemed herself. Chelsea Knot is your average popular, unlikeable character in the beginning in the story, and yes I'll admit I thought she was quite unbearable for a while into the story. Although she does feel bad for what happened, she is more upset by the fact that she's lost her popular (and mean and shallow and horrible) friends. She only cares about how her actions have affected her, not the people around her.

But then, slowly, cautiously, we see her character develop. Not all at once (which would have been unbelievable) but by degrees, through her non-speaking pledge and with the help of her new friends who really help her to put things in perspective. I was also pleasantly surprised how she used her first words again and was extremely glad they weren't spoken lightly. It is here it was really apparent to me how Chelsea changed and developed, she was able to do something she was always too scared to.

Another great novel from Hannah Harrington, after Saving June and Speechless, I'm definitely looking forward to another! 

[jeneaw-1 · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Chelsea is part of the popular crowd, basically by association. She is best friends with Kristen, who is anything but a nice girl. Chelsea is selfish and very shallow. She has no problem telling people about other people’s business until one day it causes Noah to get seriously injured. Being on the outs, she has to learn to keep her mouth shut and grow up.
Chelsea is not a very likable character at first. But credit must be given where credit is due. After telling the truth about what had happened, she takes a vow of silence. Most of the school is against her and her parents don’t really understand why she is doing this, but are supportive anyway. Not talking gives her the time to think about everything she has always thought was important, and they way she treated people. The growth that Chelsea makes was admirable and enjoyable to follow.
The new friends that made along the way were fantastic and they accepted her even when no one else wanted anything to do with her. Asha, Andy and Sam. Asha, was what every girl needs in a friends. She always loyal and always tried to find the good in everybody. And Sam, the sweet adorable boy that soon becomes more. How can you not like him? They all stuck with her throughout her vow of silence which wasn’t easy. The chemistry between Chelsea and Sam was absolutely adorable and I really did like them together.
This doesn’t tip toe around. It hits on some very serious subjects. Bullying, hate, bigotry and a few others. It is thought provoking, and reminds us that words are not just words. They can be damaging. There was a Speechless is an amazing story of forgiveness, acceptance and friendship. This is my first book from Harrington, and it certainly did not disappoint. I’ll be looking for more to dive into. I would recommend this one for sure

[renrav · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

I loved this book. I find myself still thinking of the book a few days after finishing it and wishing there was more. Not that it was unfinished, I just enjoyed the characters and I think there could be more. But there doesn't need to be.

[katebond-1 · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

I'm glad I have this book a second chance--I'd abandoned it after the first chapter left me feeling wary of another cookie-cutter story about white, middle-class morality, and I was really pleasantly surprised to find out that that was just me being a snob.

The teenagers talk like teenagers in the best possible way, so while there IS slut-shaming, the perpetrators of it are not characters the reader likes. Same with general misogyny, racism, and homophobia.

The relationships between girls, and between the teenage protagonist, Chelsea, and the grown women in her life, are solid and real. And a lot of the bullying Chelsea endures is sexual harassment from boys in her class--unlike in so many stories about 'teens, which tend to weirdly leave out the bullying that occurs across gender lines and place it all on the shoulders of girls.

Trigger warning: There's a brutal hate crime at the beginning, but it occurs off-camera. Other than some run-of-the-mill bullying, that's about it.

[saretta7l · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Chelsea è curiosa e non è capace di tenere alcun segreto, questo finchè la sua noncuranza nel rivelare porterà a una situazione drammatica.
Chelsea farà allora una scelta insolita che la aiuterà a cambiare atteggiamento verso se stessa e le persone intorno a lei.
Speechless inizialmente presenta situazioni e personaggi tipici delle letture ya: l'amica egoista, le feste con alcool, un amore non corrisposto; l'idea di rendere senza parole la protagonista è interessante come lo è lo sviluppo del romanzo e l'evoluzione di Chelsea.
Ho apprezzato il modo in cui è trattato il tema dell’omosessualità e la scelta di come ridare a Chelsea la parola ho temuto che le prime parole fossero a Noha in ospedale, sarebbe stato troppo prevedibile.

---
Chelsea is a curious girl and she’s unable to keep anything secret, that is until her nonchalance in disclosing knowledge will cause a dramatic event.
Chelsea will then make an unusual choice that will help her change attitude towards herself and other people.
Speechless at the beginning shows some typical ya behaviours and characters: the selfish-evil friend, the alcoholic parties, an unrequited love; the idea to make Chelsea speechless is interesting as the development of the novel.
I liked the way homosexuality theme was dealt with and the situation Chelsea begins to speak again.

[booksovertv · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Speechless is a book about redemption, reckless behavior, false friendships, irrevocable mistakes and true, honest, and pure relationships/friendships. This book is a read for all. It is a story of life lessons and growth. I loved it! The characters were real and quite likable, well most. I liked the references to my favorite 80's movies and music. There's just not much I didn't like. My favorite characters all hang at Rosies'. I'd like to hang there too.

I would like to thank Netgalley and Harlequin Teen for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[aussie_bookworm · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

I could not put it down, it reminded me of the bullying I went through in high school and how cruel girls could be. I could relate to the story.

[kittbiss · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

The book Speechless is about a girl named Chelsea Knot who isn't very good at keeping secrets until she reveals one person's secret that almost causes them to lose their life. She tells the secret of a boy named Noah who is gay, two boys, Warren and Joey, decide to teach him a lesson and beat him. Chelsea decides to take a vow of silence after this and her "friends" aren't very accepting of her after she turns Warren and Joey in. Chelsea meets new friends though who also happen to be Noah's friends. Chelsea is finally leading the life she really wants to live. The book was very good, it makes you think and you take away a good message from the book. I would reccomend it.

[titania86_1 · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Chelsea Knot can't keep a secret. Everyone in school knows it. She's cute and best friends with one of the most popular girls in school, Kristen. Automatically cool and popular by association, Chelsea takes full advantage of her status and tries to keep Kristen happy even if it means belittling herself a bit. During a party, Chelsea sees something shocking and immediately tells the popular crowd. Some guys take it upon themselves to attack the person involved as a result. She tells the police and the guilty party is in the process of being punished, but Chelsea now faces ridicule and hate at every turn. Her classmates either hate her for telling the secret in the first place and generally being a blabbermouth or for getting star athletes arrested. Chelsea takes a vow of silence because she hurt so many people with her words. It's hard to stay silent when constantly attacked, but she makes some surprising new friends and finds out about who she is and who she wants to be.

Speechless is a good contemporary teen book about making mistakes and having the courage to do what you like and be yourself. I really enjoyed seeing Chelsea's journey throughout the novel, but she starts off as pretty terrible. She tells everyone's secrets to her best friend Kristen and then figures out how to make it work the most in their favor, either through blackmail or by spreading the secret to everyone at school. When she takes her vow of silence and all her friends abandon her, it becomes apparent that she really doesn't know who she is. The person she pretended to be took over her whole life, causing her to wear clothes she didn't like, do things she hated, and mold herself to another's liking. With no one to care or impress, she struggles to find out who she really is underneath it all. Her vow of silence allows her to view the world in a vastly different way than she did before. She sees the effect of words and experiences first hand how words can really hurt people. I like that this is bullying from the perspective of the bully because this is rarely seen in teen books.

One aspect I really liked was portraying the toxic relationship between Chelsea and Kristen. The friendship was always completely one sided with Kristen being the most important person while Chelsea accepts that she isn't good enough as herself and changes in accordance to Kristen's whims. I have personally been in two of such relationships that started normally enough, but ended this way. I don't see this type of relationship portrayed in teen books very often and it hit home for me. Chelsea's classmates' behavior just blew my mind. Two star athletes were arrested because of their own actions, but Chelsea's testimony was integral to catching them. They blamed Chelsea for the whole situation instead of those boys for acting heinously. That mentality is crazy to me, but unfortunately not unrealistic.

Speechless is a moving contemporary read that feels honest and realistic. The writing made me breeze through it easily, but the subject matter and emotions proved to make it more profound than a fluffy read. I would definitely read more books by Hannah Harrington.

[kazhout · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

(This review was originally posted at My Library in the Making.)

Speechless was one of the first titles I requested at Edelweiss so I was ecstatic when I got approved, but what I didn't know was that I should be more than ecstatic because I'd gotten access to an exceptionally gripping book.

Chelsea Knot had it all: popularity by association, loving parents, and a knack for gaining access to other people's juiciest secrets - secrets that she had never been able to keep to herself for long. She was in it to keep her clique happy, until the night she discovered something, talked about it, and unintentionally caused her friends to almost kill someone.

I've read lots of YA written in first-person, but I haven't connected with a character quite as much as I did with Chelsea. I'm no ex-popular girl, sure, but I shared her worries and understood her complaints. She felt real. (Actually, all of the characters did.) And despite who she had been, I really liked her. Although I thought the vow of silence was a show of weakness and cowardice, I loved how from there, she worked to pick herself up and become a better person, facing the consequences of her actions. I also liked that she didn't strive for revenge, but rather to do what she should've done a long time ago.

Before I talk about the romance, let me get to Sam. Freaking swoon-worthy Sam, the erotic cook. Chelsea's words, not mine. God. Can I have him? Sorry, I just had to get that out.

Okay, romance. Chelsea and Sam's relationship started the way it should - with doubts and apprehensions - and developed at the perfect pace, so when it finally happened, I was like "I will go down with this ship!".

Aside from the brilliant plot and even more brilliant characters - I'm running out of positive adjectives here, can you tell? - what upped the quality of this book was the writing, which flowed smoothly and wrenched me in the gut at the perfect moments. Straight-forward and fearless, Speechless is one thought-provoking, unputdownable read that I will surely pick up again in the future.

MY FAVORITE PART was when Chelsea finally faced Kristen (whom I can't help but imagine as Kristin from ANTM's college edition, lol) again.

[mrsmommybooknerd7 · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

THERE IS SOMETHING AMAZING THAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU READ A BOOK THAT BOTH SPEAKS TO YOU AND MOVES YOU AT THE SAME TIME. SPEECHLESS IS ABOUT THE POWER AND CONSEQUENCES OF WORDS, BOTH SPOKEN AND WRITTEN. HARRINGTON WRITES WITH SUCH RAW TRUTH AND EXPOSES THE HARSHNESS OF BULLYING, GOSSIP AND HATE CRIMES. I WAS INSTANTLY PULLED INTO CHELSEA'S WORLD AND IT TOOK SUCH HOLD OF ME THAT I FINISHED THE BOOK IN ONE DAY. THIS IS A STORY THAT NEEDS TO BE READ, BY EVERYONE. NOT ONLY WILL YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO SHARE THIS READ WITH OTHERS, BUT YOU WILL BE COMPELLED TO BE THE ACTION AND THE CHANGE. I CANNOT SAY ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS NOVEL AND I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHAT ELSE HARRINGTON IS GOING TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD! 5 STARS!

[thebooklife · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

Mean girls. We've all seen or dealt with them in school. In the words of School House Rock, knowledge is power, and Chelsea collects all of the information about people that she can. Then her and her friends spread these rumors like wildfire and systematically humiliate the other students in their school. It keeps them popular, because no one wants to be on the bad side of the kids who could potentially ruin your life. At first I wasn't so sure about Chelsea, because she seemed to thrive on spreading gossip and behaved like those people deserved whatever they got. She was kind of a bitch, but not completely unredeemable. When she tells a pretty big secret at a party, she almost instantly regrets it and tries her hardest to convince everyone it's not a big deal and to leave it alone. After it ends up getting someone seriously hurt, Chelsea doesn't ever want to be responsible for spreading peoples secrets again. So she takes a vow of silence. Kind of genius, in my opinion.


Her vow started out a little selfish at first, while she didn't want to be responsible for anyone else getting hurt, she was more concerned about what she lost as a result of what she said. She really just wanted her friends and her status back, but as her ex-friends wage war against her, she starts to realize that maybe being a part of that group was never really something she enjoyed.


Asha and Sam are two kids that decide to take a chance on Chelsea and give her a place to belong again. I think Asha is the most genuine character I have ever read. She sees the good in everything and believes people always deserve a chance. Asha accepted Chelsea almost immediately, vow of silence and all, and never let her spend too much time thinking about what happened. Sam is just excellent. He's a little nerdy and a lot swoonworthy, such a nice guy who befriends Chelsea despite some very big reasons not to.


I loved Hannah Harrington's debut Saving June and I was so excited for Speechless, well it didn't disappoint! This one has a whole different vibe to it, but I think it was just as excellently written. I urge everyone to pick it up and give it a read! Definitely a new favorite :0)

[theeclecticreview · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

“Words matter–how we use them and how we don’t.”

Chelsea learned the hard way. Her words almost ended up killing a fellow classmate. When she outed a boy at a party, her “friends” decided to beat him and send him to the hospital. Her conscience made her rat out those friends and all hell broke loose. Due to the incident and her actions, she decided to take a vow of silence which changes her life forever.

This is a frightening, true-to-life, story that we see way too often in our world and Ms. Harrington, again, finds a very real way of bringing this raw view of bullying, peer pressure and friendships into the 21st century. The story is riveting and the characters are well-developed and engaging. A must-read for young and old alike.

Thank you to Ms. Harrington, Harlequin and NetGalley for giving me the opportunity to review this book.

[pnh002 · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

After reading the synopsis, I was a little like "ehhh" kind of sounds like a weird premise. I mean really, what high school girl you know would really decide to take a vow of silence? But then after reading and finding out the event that caused it, I see exactly why. What happens is heart breaking. Many people don't see the effect that society has on teens, but this story shows just that. This story tells just how "important" your peer's opinion is.
Chelsea has had the biggest mouth in her grade since she can remember. Any news she got, she spread it. Which is the reason her best friend is the most popular girl in school. But then one night something happens and Chelsea is scared into silence. Because she did the one thing that no one else would do.... She was brave.
I can absolutely relate to this book because being only 23 I still remember being in high school and how everyone acted. I can truly say it was portrayed as a modern day high school. For this reason, I LOVED the characters. They were easy for me to connect with and I understood they were acting that way because of immaturity.tt
As for the romance in this novel, it kind of unexpected for me. I knew it to be a contemporary romance and that eventually she would fall for someone, but I honestly thought it would be someone else. It was actually a bit of a surprise when the secret came out. It was quite refreshing to have it be them.
Speechless is a tale of growth, friendship, and love. It will leave you thinking about the bigger issue it covers long after you turn the last page.

[dhaupt_8 · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

Chelsea Knot loved her life, loved gossiping, loved telling secrets and enjoyed her status as second string to her best bud Kristen which made her the second most popular girl in the sophomore class at Grand Lake High, but most of all she loved spilling secrets and watching the results. Until the secret she spilled at a New Year’s Eve party changed her life, the lives of those around her and almost cost a life. As a result of a decision she makes and acts on she goes from popular to pariah, her friends abandon and wrong her and she takes a vow of silence since it seems when she opens her mouth people get hurt. She also looks in a new social direction that would have seemed as alien as the Martian landscape to the old Chelsea but seems to fit the new one. The lessons life are teaching her are not painless, seeking redemption does not always get the result you wish for and asking for forgiveness sometimes starts by asking it of yourself.
This is the perfect choice to start Bully Prevention Month and Hannah’s storytelling made this lesson easy to read even if the actions of a few were shameful. Her storyline of learning social conscience is expertly told and enriched this very adult palate as well as it would a much younger one. Her characters are realistically likeable and disgraceful where appropriate and her protagonist Chelsea could be any girl/boy USA and in fact in one way or anther probably mirrors each of us at one time in our life or another. The message is clear, get along, know, live and teach tolerance. There is a quote from the book that really said it all page 245 “Hate is…it’s too easy,” he says. His face is calm, calmer than it has any right to be, his eyes not wavering from mine, like he’s so completely sure of what he’s saying. “Love. Love takes courage.”
The right thing is not always the easier path but it’s always the right one.
Thank you for this beautiful voice against violence and hate, I can’t wait to see where you take us next.

[amberfib · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

Speechless is a bildungsroman (coming of age story) in the truest sense of the word. Chelsea literally grows before the reader's eyes. I thoroughly enjoyed watching her transform from a bratty mean girl into an actual human being. While she was annoying at times, she was real. Every character in the story was realistic, unique, and flawed. There isn't a ton of action in this story, but I still couldn't stop turning the pages. I had to know what happened to Chelsea. This is one book that you don't want to miss.

Chelsea is the narrator of the book, and while she's difficult to trust in some ways, I knew she was telling the truth right off the bat. She isn't shy about disclosing mistakes she made or that others made. I really didn't like her for the first half of the book, but once she started maturing, she really grew on me. My dislike for her during the first half of the book is what made me rate this novel a B instead of an A. I didn't enjoy the first half because I wanted to smack Chelsea, but I still had to see what ended up happening to her. I wanted to know if she'd turn into an actual human or stay a brat forever. Also, I am completely in love with Sam, and Asha is a fun character, too. Everyone at the diner is terrific. I enjoyed getting to know all of these unique characters. Harrington did a terrific job of creating realistic, flawed characters.

The plot is pretty heavy handed with some social issues, and I have to admit that I'm glad Harrington chose to address these problems. Harrington illustrates what happens when hate and bigotry run amok. Hate crimes are never okay, and she makes that point very clear. She also addresses bullying and the problem of athletics in schools. Overall, this is a pretty deep book, and it really makes you think. I'm so glad that dialogues have opened about these issues now and that people are talking about them. That's the only way to change things.

The plot is pretty steady, and the pacing is excellent. There is no "big reveal" or "action scene" because there is no mystery, and this book isn't an action-filled story. However, there does come a time when Chelsea is forced to face her demons, and that's a very intense point in the novel. Even though there is no action, this book was still an emotional read for me, and I wasn't bored for a second. I literally couldn't put this book down. Be prepared to lose some sleep with this one.

Overall, I'd recommend this book to anyone. It opens up a dialogue about things that need to be discussed, and it shows that sometimes a person has to do what's right, even if it means losing everything they thought they loved. This is a wonderful coming of age story, and it cannot be missed.

[bookswithbite · Bewertung: 4 von 5 Sternen]

When you read this book, be prepared to have it rattle your emotions. Written so explicitly well, this story will steal your heart.

Obviously it is the plot that totally rocks! What happens when something you said takes an unexpected turn? It causes anger and almost death. WOW! Let me tell you that this girl took a lot. I mean A LOT! Some of the things that are done to her, said to her...it got me so angry! I just couldn't understand these people ignorance. But then again, that's what happens in high school. People are small minded and do not understand the impact that those things can have.

There wasn't so much of a love interest but there are some amazing friendships that are established. I really enjoyed watching some friends come along to give her chance and know her. Even though they heard rumors, I loved that they didn't care what others thought. They were selfish in any of their actions despite what Chelsea.

I think the greatest lesson in this book is to SPEAK UP! Despite what your beliefs are, of who you are, nobody deserves to be bullied. PERIOD.

Speechless is an amazingly raw book. Fresh and unique, Speechless depicts the acts of human idiocy. The horror of single secret let out into a world of bullies make me shutter. If you truly want to dive into a world of selfish people, read Speechless. It will change your heart.

[shelleyraec · Bewertung: 3 von 5 Sternen]

In Speechless, a contemporary young adult novel, author Hannah Harrington explores the consequences for sixteen year old Chelsea Knot when she thoughtlessly reveals a secret that leads to the vicious beating of a fellow classmate. Sharing idle gossip, rumour and innuendo once ensured her status as a member of her high school's most exclusive clique but identifying the boys responsible for the assault makes Chelsea a pariah. Guilt stricken, Chelsea takes a vow of silence, reasoning that it's best for everyone if she doesn't talk at all.

The strength of Speechless lies with it's protagonist, Chelsea, and her development from a self centered, shallow, mean girl into a mature, caring individual. The first person point of view allows the reader to connect to what Chelsea is thinking and feeling as she navigates her new social reality while her vow of silence ensures the author is able to keep the focus on Chelsea's internal journey. Chelsea isn't aware of how much of her identity she had compromised in order to remain Kristen's best friend until she is exiled from the group. She wore whatever Kristen approved off, behaved the way the Kristen expected and focused on catering to the needs of her 'best friend' almost to the exclusion of everything else. In the wake of the attack on Noah, freed from the confines of the clique's expectations, Chelsea begins to discover who she is, and who she wants to be.

I particularly liked that the consequences for Chelsea were realistic. Exiled from the popular group she becomes a target of their bullying and the rest of the school population has little sympathy for the former 'mean girl'. That the consequences seep into her father's life is perhaps a little bit of a stretch but then given the behaviour of their children it is hardly any surprise the parents are no better.

Chelsea's journey is supported by a blossoming friendship with Ash and Sam. I admire both for their willingness to reach out to, and forgive Chelsea, though as friends of Noah they would have been within their rights to ignore her. Kristen and her friends are fairly typical representations of the power clique familiar from high school, privileged, petty and self involved. I did like that moment when Chelsea quietly confronts Kristen with the truth that the boys are responsible for their fates.

Speechless explores the issues of friendship, bullying, personal responsibility and self acceptance in a manner that is sure to appeal to teens. It is an entertaining read but with a serious message at its core and will hopefully get teens thinking.

[stephxsu · Bewertung: 3 von 5 Sternen]

Chelsea Knot has clawed and climbed and gossiped her way up to the top of her school’s social chain. But her reign as the queen bee’s best friend takes a shocking, dizzying fall when Chelsea’s post-party decision has the entire school jumping at the chance to alienate her.

Well, not quite the entire school. Despite her self-imposed vow of silence, Chelsea befriends Asha and several other classmates she’s never spoken to before, who all work at the diner in town. And one of her new friends, Sam, is utterly too cute and sweet. But has Chelsea finally learned her lesson this time about knowing when and when not to speak, and what she’s going to speak up for?

Hannah Harrington’s debut novel, Saving June, was my delightful surprise of 2011, so I had high expectations for her sophomore novel, SPEECHLESS. And while I didn’t like SPEECHLESS as much as I did Saving June, it was still an uplifting and quick YA contemporary read.

SPEECHLESS’ strength lies in its treatment of its protagonist, Chelsea. There is no doubt that Chelsea is a mean girl at the beginning of the book, so caught up in the dangerous thriller of being the first to find and spread gossip, and yet we readers undoubtedly see the potential she has in her for good. And yeah, okay, this is kind of the way that protagonists have to be—they have to arouse our empathy in order for us to want to invest in their journey—but Chelsea is, really, likable. She has a very relatable reaction to her changing social position at her high school, but she has an inner strength that we can admire: this is not a girl who will dissolve into a spineless, quivering, tearful mess in the face of extreme challenges.

That being said, the predictability of the rest of the story made this only a mediocre read for me. SPEECHLESS follows a very basic YA contemporary story format, complete with a budding romance that readers can call from the love interest’s first appearance on the page. While Chelsea’s situation is no doubt cringe-inducing—she’s forced to suffer at the hands of some truly heartless school bullies—it’s all written about in a very straightforward manner, so that you can anticipate everything that’s about to happen. While I don’t always require oodles of surprises and utter originality in my reads, the elements of this book just all felt very…safe to me, and thus ultimately forgettable.

SPEECHLESS’ reformed protagonist, golden-hearted supporting characters, and predictably sweet romance are nothing new in this genre, but sometimes that’s the kind of read you seek. If so, you can’t go wrong with Hannah Harrington’s well-intentioned books.

[arthistorychick · Bewertung: 5 von 5 Sternen]

4½ stars/5 stars
Source: NetGalley

When I found Hannah Harrington’s novel Speechless at NetGalley I actually wondered “How good can a book about a teenage girl who takes a vow of silence really be?” The simple answer: extremely good!

Speechless is a cautionary tale of just how damaging words and gossip can be. Chelsea Knot is the central character and she is, without doubt, a bitch. Chelsea has gossiped her way to the top of her high school’s social ladder and she doesn’t care who she hurts or how she hurts them as long as she maintains her position. Chelsea wields gossip like a weapon without ever stopping to think how her words, true or otherwise, can tear apart another person’s life. And then one Friday night Chelsea discovers how her chosen weapon can not only backfire but have tragic consequences for others. One student is in the hospital in a coma and two others are accused of beating that student into the coma. Chelsea knows none of this would have ever happened if she just could have kept her big mouth shut!

To Chelsea’s credit, she does do the right thing and with the help of her parents she tells the police everything she knows about the beating, how it happened and who was involved. Chelsea understands that by doing the right thing it will cost her everything she holds so dear: her friends, her social standing, and thanks to her vow of silence, her voice. Yes, a teenage girl takes a vow of silence – hell hath frozen over! I really wondered how Harrington could pull off a novel where the main character doesn’t actually speak. Turns out, inner monologue can be quite fun and can very easily keep a character moving and developing. Chelsea spends a little more than a month honoring her vow of silence and it is during this month that she discovers what she once held so dear was not ever really worth holding on to at all. Her old “friends” lash out at Chelsea for ratting out two of their own: she is taunted, teased, her locker and car are vandalized, and she becomes a social pariah.

Initially, I found it very, very, very hard to feel any semblance of sympathy for Chelsea. Her words and actions caused the mess she and others find themselves in and she should rightfully face the consequences of those actions. I really didn’t want to like Chelsea but in the end, she surprised me! I honestly don’t think I would have been able to change my opinion about Chelsea if she were using her actual voice and not her inner monologue. In her own head Chelsea acknowledges and faces many hard facts and realities about herself and her actions. She learns words mean something and once out there, they cannot be taken back. Chelsea begins to consider her words more carefully and when she does need to communicate (using a dry erase board) she thinks before she “speaks”.

Chelsea soon discovers that her vow of silence has some pleasant consequences to go along with the bad. She meets a few other social outcasts and while everyone is initially wary of one another the group finally comes together and Chelsea begins to understand what it is to have true friends. Chelsea also begins to understand that, like everyone else, she is human, has flaws, and will make mistakes. Once Chelsea understands and appreciates these revelations she is able to once again use her voice.

The bottom line: Speechless is heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time and I really had no trouble getting through this book in short order. The plot is solid, the characters (both good and bad) show development and growth throughout, and the overall message that words matter is clear without being preachy. I can absolutely see this book appealing to a wide range of readers including more mature young adults and adults alike.